My 4th decade defined my life.
Two months prior to the end of the previous decade, my life fundamentally changed forever. I was working tirelessly to get my business off the ground. Literally 80 to 100 hour weeks. Angela Holden was staying with me temporarily after an unpleasant break-up. I’d tried for weeks to get her to focus on herself. She chose this day. It was a Friday afternoon and I was exhausted. I was sitting at my desk, first Bacardi in hand. Ang walks in, hair freshly done and a then rare smile across her face. “I feel fantastic” she says. “Take me out” she says. “Of course!” I say. I was barely awake.
I met the love of my life that night. We were two strangers from opposite corners of the globe, standing at opposite ends of the same bar at the same time. I had never been drawn to anyone or anything like I was in that moment. The days and weeks that followed were filled with serendipitous moments. Each placing us on our journey for a life together.
Coming out to my friends was tough. I called them, almost one by one. They embraced me and my chosen partner with open arms. We literally painted the place red (and white) when my friends officially welcomed my gorgeous Dane to town. It was an epic celebration that cost me $1,000 in legal fees and a humiliating morning in front of a magistrate. It was worth it.
Coming out to my family was toughest of all. Disappointment was not a word I knew well. I need not have worried. If they were alarmed, they didn’t show it. They loved me. I loved her, so they did too.
On my 30th birthday, only 2.5 months after the night we met, Anne proposed. To this day I don’t know why I didn’t hesitate. Why I never questioned it. It wasn’t logical. It shouldn’t have seemed right. But it was, and it still is. We married the following year surrounded by some of our closest friends and family. After nine years, it remains one of the best days of my life.
I continued to work around the clock. The business was growing. We purchased our first home and were soon talking about starting our family. Between painting walls and presenting to senior managers I was researching IVF and looking through donor descriptions. I was on a personal and professional high.
A confirmed pregnancy was a dream. Twins no less. We prepared for what lay ahead. Eight weeks out and we had one last party with friends before family life. Either side of midnight our last remaining guests toasted the arrival of two beautiful and healthy baby boys. A spectacular arrival, I shouldn’t have expected any less.
The business didn’t stop, there was work to be done. We continued to grow at speed. Staff came to our home and disappeared between feeds. At times I felt like a machine. We juggled work, study, family and friends, between both corners of the globe. Then our third arrived, also in spectacular fashion of course – 10 weeks early and featuring the royal flying doctors, ambulance, police, and wrong birthing suites.
We have lived through sickness, resentment, loss and grief. To keep everything together, I was personally pushed to the extreme. But I will perhaps never be able to articulate the depth of my love for the Dane that is my wife. Or for three boys that I cherish more than life itself. A parting lesson from my journey to date, and the decade that defined my life? Be generous, be kind, work hard and stand proud… and always, always, always, love brighter than the darkest of days.
Come on 40’s, you’re up… !
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